Rejected New Year's Resolutions
- Watch less adult-interest material on the internet
- Watch more Eastenders now Danny Dyer is in it
- Eat more Cous Cous
- Stop wiping my nether-regions on every cup in the office when I come in early and feel bitter
- Make my cleavage-staring less obvious
- Make any effort to get my 5-a-day
- Take up smoking just so I can quit and get hooked on the E-cigarettes
- Take Ray Winstone's advice and put a fiver on RVP to score first
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