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Sunday 12 October 2014
Thursday 9 October 2014
Personal Development
A flippant comment I made to a friend the other day got me thinking. With porn easier to get than ever before, has this always been the case for me?
I had a good, hard think about this subject matter and, after I had recovered, realised that this kind of thing starts very early. Before any sort of sexual awakening I found that the most fascinating and enlightening book in my parents' bookshelf was the dictionary. Blackadder had it so right (series 2 episode 2 for the geeks out there).
The main purpose of the dictionary would be to look up dirty words. I remember it well.
Erection
Breast
Penis
Vagina
Scrotum
Stiffy (it wasn't there but we still looked)
It was all harmless fun and they are all funny words but the intention was clearly TITilation.
This all occurred around the time of our initial development classes in primary school. We went through a period of videos from the seventies detailing what was about to happen to our bodies and how we shouldn't be scared because its all very natural. As natural as it supposedly was they still had to illustrate it by drawings. You will never see a penis/vagina less natural and more "perfect" than when its drawn in pencil. The overriding memory of these films is that of girls using hand mirrors in a way that I'd never thought of before and that there are certain times when they can't go swimming.
So, a couple of years pass. My first moment of "personal time" is unspectacular, memorable mainly by the wet dream that preceeded it and the many wet dreams that followed it (some in uncomfortable circumstances).
First two porn films I saw? Flesh Gordon (yes, it is exactly what you think it is. It's fun 'cos the spaceship is shaped like a penis) and some video I assume was ordered from the back of a certain Sunday newspaper. First porn mags I found? I won't name the brother but I found a goldmine hidden in a briefcase in an drawer under his bed. I remember all of these as they were yesterday.
So at this point I'm embarrassed by my own fervent needs. I get embarrassed by any mention of sex, masturbation, porn etc. (even though I had to sit through the Buddha of Suburbia with my parents in the room). So what happened? People talked about it. I talked about it. I knew it was ok.
We move on to the subject of older brothers. In many ways I'm lucky that I had older brothers because as a quite introverted child I would never have actually gone out to seek proper porn. If it weren't for the stashes in the Divan beds and wardrobes of my bros I may be a normal person!
So. We move on, we have relationships, they develop. To the outside world the loss of my virginity is truly unspectacular (although one of the most amazing nights of my life) but it suddenly puts a very different perspective on porn. Please note that at this point I did not really have the internet. My idea of sex had come from magazine images.
Porn became a true force in society when the internet grabbed the masses. Gone were the days of finding mags in a park bush. Gone were the days of restrictions. Gone were the days of satisfaction when you raided your brother's room. Got the gear, had a wank, and returned it all before he got back.
It was better to earn it.
I had a good, hard think about this subject matter and, after I had recovered, realised that this kind of thing starts very early. Before any sort of sexual awakening I found that the most fascinating and enlightening book in my parents' bookshelf was the dictionary. Blackadder had it so right (series 2 episode 2 for the geeks out there).
The main purpose of the dictionary would be to look up dirty words. I remember it well.
Erection
Breast
Penis
Vagina
Scrotum
Stiffy (it wasn't there but we still looked)
It was all harmless fun and they are all funny words but the intention was clearly TITilation.
This all occurred around the time of our initial development classes in primary school. We went through a period of videos from the seventies detailing what was about to happen to our bodies and how we shouldn't be scared because its all very natural. As natural as it supposedly was they still had to illustrate it by drawings. You will never see a penis/vagina less natural and more "perfect" than when its drawn in pencil. The overriding memory of these films is that of girls using hand mirrors in a way that I'd never thought of before and that there are certain times when they can't go swimming.
So, a couple of years pass. My first moment of "personal time" is unspectacular, memorable mainly by the wet dream that preceeded it and the many wet dreams that followed it (some in uncomfortable circumstances).
First two porn films I saw? Flesh Gordon (yes, it is exactly what you think it is. It's fun 'cos the spaceship is shaped like a penis) and some video I assume was ordered from the back of a certain Sunday newspaper. First porn mags I found? I won't name the brother but I found a goldmine hidden in a briefcase in an drawer under his bed. I remember all of these as they were yesterday.
So at this point I'm embarrassed by my own fervent needs. I get embarrassed by any mention of sex, masturbation, porn etc. (even though I had to sit through the Buddha of Suburbia with my parents in the room). So what happened? People talked about it. I talked about it. I knew it was ok.
We move on to the subject of older brothers. In many ways I'm lucky that I had older brothers because as a quite introverted child I would never have actually gone out to seek proper porn. If it weren't for the stashes in the Divan beds and wardrobes of my bros I may be a normal person!
So. We move on, we have relationships, they develop. To the outside world the loss of my virginity is truly unspectacular (although one of the most amazing nights of my life) but it suddenly puts a very different perspective on porn. Please note that at this point I did not really have the internet. My idea of sex had come from magazine images.
Porn became a true force in society when the internet grabbed the masses. Gone were the days of finding mags in a park bush. Gone were the days of restrictions. Gone were the days of satisfaction when you raided your brother's room. Got the gear, had a wank, and returned it all before he got back.
It was better to earn it.
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