This is probably too personal...

I've done this  on my other blog and have found it saves time. Below is an email I sent to my g/f that says pretty much what I wanted to post here. Anyone who can tell me where my quote was from receives a prize. The prize is a round of applause that you won't hear:

Hi babe,

First things first.This is probably going to be a looooong email but at no point will it be, or is intended to be, a "Dear John" letter. Just me putting random thoughts on "paper".

Second things second. I love you. Nothing will ever change that.

It's tough to know where to start. But that is simply because I'm sending you this for no actual reason other than me being bored, frustrated, tired etc.

So let's start with something easy and nice. A simple (rhetorical) question - Do you have any idea how much I loved the kisses we shared on Monday morning? I felt the full softness and beauty of your face and your lips. Whatever happens in the future (and I have no reason to think it would be anything bad) I will never regret asking you to marry me. You are more perfect than you will ever realise. It would be an honour and a privilege to be able to call you my wife.

Something maybe less nice. But very honest.

Monday morning I spent at least half of the train journey in tears. I have no idea why. Maybe because I was listening to the emotional songs of avenue q. Maybe because I missed you. Maybe because life is very hard for me right now. Probably a combination of the three. In what has become my emotional state for the last couple of days ( exacerbated by my lack of sleep) I have managed to overreact to you not speaking to me (n.b. I'm still not sure I did overreact but when I look at myself from  the outside I see that it may be the case).

I've been thinking about suicide a lot. I'm not even going to try to lie about it. I have enough paracetmol in my bedroom to floor a Rhinoceros. I don't think I will go anywhere near it, though. I know that your love will see me through. "I have known what it is to have the love of a good woman." 

Life is hard right now. I don't know how to deal with it. I wouldn't think any less of you if you didn't want to deal with it. But, and this is probably the sub-conscious reason for this email, do you truly want to spend the rest of your life with me?

Life is hard right now but most people have been amazing. My self-loathing insists that my colleagues resent me and my friends think less of me. The bitchslap is that the only people I have in my life are my colleagues and friends. Yet I feel like I am pushing them all away. Sigh.

I just need love. Or biscuits.