Boredom. The silent killer...

It may please some of you to know that I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Proper honesty:

There have been a couple of reasons for this turn around. None of which include interaction with people. I have blogged. Clearly. I've kind of blogged my way out of trouble. Like when Jamie Carragher used to twat someone in lieu of an effective tackle, then look at the ref as if to say "what did I do, ref?"

The other reason has been less influential but just as important.

I grew up on a diet of american sitcoms, feel-good movies and musicals. I could truly be used as a subject in a case study into the idea that homosexuality is not a product of your influences. I grew up knowing that the good-looking blonde guy would always get the chick, no matter how much of an arsehole he was. I knew that the fit cheerleader would always get the hot guy no matter how much of an arsehole she was.

I grew up knowing that the underdog will always win and that the ugly guy is surprisingly clever and likeable. I grew up knowing that a certain amount of arrogance is acceptable but a touch too much makes you the villan.

It has honestly been a long struggle because I have always been a massive child (at one point that was literally true). To depart from the values you held for so long, that were ingrained, is tough. You want to leave the bad bits behind but you don't really want to change yourself so inexorably that you lose the parts of you that you like.

I have blogged, yes. But I have also spent a lot of time listening to the soundtrack of Avenue Q. It kind of bridges the gap between the lie we are all told as kids and the reality we learned to accept.

I feel like I have gone through puberty again.

"I wish I could go back to College" contains sentiments to which we all can relate.
"There's a fine, fine line" beautifully describes the end of a relationship and is a very mature reaction to it.
"For Now" sets out a realistic representation of how we should approach life.

I will keep blogging and keep getting better. Read it, don't read it. I don't care. It has been a long time since I cared whether anyone clicked here.

Seriously, not gay.