Dearest log,
I'll probably be offline for the next few weeks due to wanting to get my "beast" on with my training so this may be a long post. I consider it my alternative to Rohypnol. Show this to a lady and...
So. Before I forget.
The Joys of Defecation (Gillian McKeith, take note)
My metabolism has gone through some interesting stages. a massive water intake (when I thought I needed it) promoted a massive, ahem, bowel disruption. Runners Diarrhoea is a known condition! So when I upped my protein and started "going" normally it was like passing a baby. I loved it. I think that if you are filled with a sense of achievement and slight disturbance, it has been a good one. BTW is there any reason it is called a number 2? It's inferiority complex must be sky high (given the use of the word s%&*). Maybe we should polish our turds (metaphorically).
Ambivalence
I just watched a sky sports show where current and former players detail a team filled with the best players they have played with. There is a certain bias to my viewing of this (if they played for Spurs, I'll watch).
Anyhoo, My latest viewing was Jermaine Jenas. A player who I wanted to love but grew to hate (possibly due to injuries). I hate him more now. I agreed with every sngle one of his choices.
He included Ledley King and every single player who played with him picks him even though he could only play one game in nine (due to his knee/s). He also picked Robbie Keane who a surprising amount of people pick. It seems surprising to me but he is the ROI top scorer of all time (more on Robbie later).
I hate him more because a, he made the correct choices and, b, he was fantastically confident and photogenic in front of the camera. I hate those people. It is a similar feeling I have to Danny Mills. Complete dick on the pitch. No-one would disagree. No-one. But then he almost won celeb Masterchef (totally robbed) and he is also a regular on the behemoth of shows, Fighting Talk. And he wasn't rubbish. I hate him the most.
Wow, this may be longer than I thought. I'll give you a few minutes to get coffee and snacks.
(To the tune of Rock and Roll Part 2) Duh Duh Duh Duh HEY Duh Duh Duh (repeat until you are back)
My faith in film is being restored.
We're The Millers is hilarious. A stoner comedy (still not getting old for me, just getting a little formulaic) containing my new flavour-of-the-month Jason Sudeikis (Yes. I looked the spelling up) who I ve loved since I saw him in the fantastic NBC ad for Premier League football being brought to the US. He plays an American Football coach who is hired as the manager of Spurs. "So how many countries are in this country". "Four". "So where's he from (Gareth Bale)?". "Wales". "Is that a country?". "Not exactly".
Check it here.
It also has a "kid". A Brit putting on a US accent. I say "kid" because he looks about 6'4". But he's also great. I remember him from some poor sketch show on Bravo or something when he was very young but he has certainly matured. Like an angry Harry Potter.
Oh. My. God.
Jennifer Aniston is in it. I have no problem with her. I have enjoyed many things she was in (she also got to see Hank Azaria's, ahem, manliness, in Along Came Polly).
The thing is, since she split with Brad Pitt she seems to be doing roles that prove she is ok. The Break Up - obviously (she has also noted the link in interviews. Wait, have I watched interviews with ANISTON? Nurse! Quick!).
He's Just Not That Into You and Cougar Town are kinda assumptions but, in We're the Millers, she definitely goes to the unnecessary (scriptually) point of becoming a lapdancer and showing off her bod. Job done, Jen. Bod was great. You shouldn't make people assume that's all you've got, though. You've done some good stuff. I won't include the TV series conversion of Ferris Buellers Day Off in that simply because I won't watch it on principle (In terms of movie to tv conversions that goes for Weird Science, Young Indiana Jones and Spaceballs -Use the Schwartz, Hail, Screwb. Oh I could go on all day, Yoghurt. They all suck(/Rant)
Back to reality
A good/interesting game of football last night. The first half, we were annihilated (I like typing that word 'cos I can spell it without looking it up). I take personal responsibilty. I went too far up the pitch in attack then too far deep to defend.
Now, my sense of position is good, normally, but I started the game viewing the game as a workout. I wanted to cover miles (and I did).
Fortunately, I was given a pep-talk at half time. I changed my game and turned into "the beast". I chased down every ball, took pitch-long 1-2's and tried to force the opposition into submission (I have no talent other than a couple of threadneedle passes so that's what I do).
I did this until I started to feel sick. Outstanding. Anyhoo, during the game I scored a hat trick. One of those was an own goal so probably doesn't count. But what I noticed was that I (unlike the po-faced others) like to celebrate goals. This may be because they are SO rare. I used to use the Bale heart gesture. I can no longer use this as he is a splitter. As a kid I used the Tony Yeboah finger and, in extreme cases, the Marco Tardelli knee drop whilst shouting "GET IN!!!" (true story). Elbow pumps were also prevalent. Now I am seriously considering the Robbie Keane forward roll then "sharpshooter" hands. Worst. Celebration. Ever. I want to make it cool.
I am more passionate on a football field than people would probably believe. So many swears.
Anyhoo, I have to go as Matt Johnson is currently hosting Fighting Talk. I will probably see you in a few weeks
x
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